KNOW THYSELF
(Live who you are)
As I Pastored thousands of people over the years, I came to realize that many Christians struggle to be themselves. They compare themselves to others: Others looks, others spiritual gifts, others talents, others personalities, others lives, and as a result, they seldom experience true freedom. They have no idea how to march to the beat of their own God-given drum. While it’s true, we are all striving to become more and more like Jesus Christ, it’s equally true that God has made each of us unique. We each have a God-given personality, a God-given temperament, our own unique upbringing and set of life experiences, God-given spiritual gifts, callings and talents. We have our own passions and interests. Yet, I’ve found many people struggle to be themself. To simply be who God made them to be.
Many people spend their entire lives trying to be what they think others want them to be. It’s one of the ways people live for the approval of others. They want to be accepted, they want to feel they fit in. They’re afraid to be different.
God wants to empower you, to liberate you to be yourself. It was for freedom that Christ set us free. He did not set us free to live for our carnal, sinful desires, but He did set us free to live as He created us, gifted us, and uniquely designed our personality and temperament to be. Even our upbringing and life experiences, our passions and interests have a God-given purpose. The more you live who you are, the more freedom and meaning you will experience in your life. All, of course, under the Lordship of Jesus Chist, the guidance of the Scripture and the influence of the Holy Spirit.
For almost 50 years now, it has brought me immense freedom, meaning and joy to simply be who God made me, to live as I am, knowing and embracing what my God-given gifts, calling, temperament and personality really are.
Here are a few examples. Some may surprise you. I am not a super social person. I may be extroverted to some degree, but in high school, for example, I never went to one party. I don’t like parties. I don’t like crowds or big entertainment events. I can’t stand going to the state fair. I’ve attended several small county fairs, but I go first thing in the morning, when attendance is low. I try to plan my errands when the crowds are very small at the store, even going as far as to research when the least busy time is to go to Costco. I’m not a social butterfly, never been to a reunion, and don’t plan on going in the future. I love quiet. I enjoy solitude. The smell of perfumes, aftershave and chemicals, I literally taste in my mouth, they make me sick. When I’m in my office with my garage door open for fresh air and the neighbor uses her smelly, dryer softener sheets to dry her clothes, I get sick and have to shut my door!
Yes, I did design, plan and speak at large faith conferences, as I believe they allow something spiritually significant to be accomplished with a large group of people, in a short amount of time. It creates a profound, spiritual experience with lasting impact. A great opportunity to preach and teach to many all at once. A large crowd for this purpose, fits the calling God has on my life. I never felt compelled to use a PowerPoint presentation as it’s just not me. As I told a friend years ago, “I don’t need PowerPoints up on a screen to make a point, because every point I make when preaching is a power-point!”
I like to read. I like old movies — old westerns, WW2 movies and documentaries, and some BritBox detective shows. I am a homebody. I hate airports, flying and travel, though I did it for many, many years, all for the sake of God’s work, to serve His people.
I am a choleric/melancholy person, for those of you familiar with the LaHaye personality test. If not, you can look it up, and it will explain. For years, friends thought I was choleric/sanguine, but they were wrong. They just didn’t get me. I am artistic, expressive, passionate, innovative, entrepreneurial, purposeful, enjoy nature, a communicator, a nonconformist, a minimalist, a man of deep convictions and deep feelings. I am a leader, not a follower, a man who strategizes, plans and takes initiative. I love teaching and helping people with their life and faith. Serving God and His people brings me great joy. I’m an encourager and love coming alongside people, believing in them, mentoring and discipling them, helping them become all God created them to be.
I get up very early and go to bed early, every day, 7 days a week, including holidays. I don’t like social media, or smartphones. I love my privacy, what I can get of it, anyway. I won’t be tracked, put on a leash, manipulated or coerced by pings and apps, or tap with my large, arthritic thumbs on a teeny, tiny screen, texting someone a note. I’ve never owned a camera.
I like simple, reliable, low maintenance. I like order. I like stuff that actually works every time! I hate being stupid and like being wise. I love being prepared. I can quickly get impatient, and staying calm is not always easy for me. I couldn’t be a truck driver in crazy city traffic, nor a doctor or a surgeon, as I hate the sight of blood. It makes me nauseous and I would never have graduated from medical school! I like animals but not in the house! I love babies and kids, especially in my house! I know my strengths and weaknesses, and strive to do things that play to my strengths. I avoid wasting time on things I am weak in.
As I’ve gotten older, there are new realities I must accept, such as not seeing grandchildren’s events in the evenings, as I literally hit a wall and can’t stay awake. My body clock is set and I can’t change it. I have to go to bed. I can’t worry whether others understand or not, it is what it is. I embrace it, and live within its confines. I don’t have the same strength or stamina I once had and my emotional margins are smaller. A half-century of battles takes their toll, but I’m still fighting. I live within the boundaries of my limitations.
I simply refuse to let others put me in their box. I truly enjoy who God made me to be and what He called me to. I stick tenaciously to what God has called me to do.
Let me encourage each of you — Know Thyself. Take the time to write your own list to describe who you are, what you like, what you feel your gifts and calling truly are. Discover what your personality and temperament is. Accept them. Learn to march to the beat of your own God-given drum. Live who you are, who God made you to be! What God calls you to, He’ll give you the ability to do!
Let me give you this wise precaution. Do not overestimate your abilities, or lie to yourself about gifts you don’t really possess. Know and accept your limitations. Always strive to strengthen your strengths and gifts. Hone them, excel in them. Don’t try to be someone you aren’t.
The gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable! Romans 11:29 NASB
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling