THE COST OF DEFYING GOD’S DESIGN
Have you ever wondered, “Why does it cost so much to live today? Why are there so many unhealthy and overweight people? Why are there so many divorces?” You may think you know, but I bet these answers will open your eyes like never before.
Let me connect some dots for you most never connect, so you can see the clear picture that emerges.
Though there may be a variety of things that contribute to the issues these questions raise, there is one major factor, hidden in plain sight. Women, and especially mothers, since the mid 1960s, and at an ever accelerating rate since, have abandoned their God-given role as a full-time mother and homemaker and have pursued a full-time career outside the home. This has had disastrous consequences that most fail to grasp. People refuse to acknowledge it or speak about it. Today, just 7% of families in America are a one income family, with dad being the sole provider.
Feminism’s rebellion and defiance of God’s design for the family, has had costly, devastating, real world consequences.
Allow me to explain.
In the 50s, 60s, and even the 70s, my father, who only had an 8th grade education, eventually learned to be a welder in the Air Force. He then went to night school to become a welding engineer. Then he began selling welding supplies, and later became a traveling salesman for a large fastener company. He was able to adequately provide for his family of eight on one income. He was able to buy a modest house, put food on the table, and clothes on our backs. We were not rich by any stretch of the imagination. I began working to buy my own stuff at 15 and 16, but my mother was able to be at home with all of us kids till I graduated from high school in 1975.
Here’s what’s happened that people refuse to acknowledge. Over time, more and more women/mothers abandoned their homemaking and child rearing to pursue a career outside the home, to make money. Businesses and business leaders recognized this as a way to pay men/fathers far less of a salary then they had in earlier times. They began to operate their businesses and companies under the premise that families would need two incomes to survive. This reality got “baked” into the economic system. Over time men’s real wages dropped precipitously as compared to what a man made even at a blue collar job in the 60s and 70s. Builders began to build larger homes, and builders and realtors charged more and more for those homes, knowing families have two incomes, and they can afford these grossly inflated home prices. This cycle continued and we have a colossal mess today as a result. It takes a tremendous sacrifice these days, as it did for my wife and I, to raise our children God’s way, with the wife as a stay-at-home mother and homemaker. All of this has been a deliberate assault on the family by the anti-God, demonic forces of feminism, and feminist’s desire to destroy it.
In 2025, most mothers working outside the home do not have the time, inclination, skill, or desire to cook healthy, homemade meals made from scratch. Instead, they rely primarily on poisonous, ultra-processed food, junk, fast food from restaurants, or unhealthy, pre-made meals from grocery stores. Many moms today don’t even know how to cook. What has the result been? We have an epidemic of obesity, of overweight, very unhealthy people, a huge increase of diseases and medical costs, and a massive increase in financial cost to the family expenses from buying these kinds of pre-made, unhealthy, ultra-processed foods. A mother’s role as a homemaker, as a skillful, wise cook for her family cannot be overstated. A devoted stay-at-home mom is absolutely essential to the health of her family.
We have witnessed a tremendous increase in divorce since the early 70s. There are several reasons for this. Many women/mothers who pursued careers conclude they no longer need their husbands to survive, as men are seen by many as the enemy. They conclude that with their own income, and the income the courts will force the husband to pay them, they do not need this man in their life any longer. Secondly, when a woman works outside the home, she now has another “boss”, another authority in her life. Her husband is no longer her sole “head”. Many women spend more close, relational time with coworkers/bosses/other men, than their own husbands. This forces a husband to compete with another authority figure in his wife’s life. This often leads to conflict, frustration, growing resentment, and emotional distance. In time, marriages fall apart.
Let me give you some very practical ways to succeed in God’s design for your family life.
If possible, move away from large, more expensive cities, and live in smaller surrounding towns, where housing costs are often much lower. Then commute to work, or whenever possible telecommute. You men may think it will keep you away from the family longer, having to commute more miles. But, it is much better to do that than have mom gone from the home, working. Also, you can wisely use your time alone in the car to pray on the long commutes, or listen to revolutionary messages from Strongdisciple.com and transform your life. I listened to these kinds of messages for years as a very young father, working two jobs, while driving many miles for my sales route, and working nights at a video arcade. It transformed my life.
Moms, learn to cook. Find a friend who knows how if you need help, read a good book, but learn to cook inexpensive, healthy, home-made meals from scratch. You will help save your children’s health, and you will help your husband’s income go much farther.
Form fellowship groups with other Christian families living a traditional, biblical model. Encourage each other. Share ideas. You are few and far between, and you are a rare, heroic breed.
Fathers, if needed, get a second job so your wife can stay at home. For many of you this transition to mom at home will take a little time. You may not be able to instantly flip the switch, but I urge you to work towards that goal. Sell your home and move if you need to. Reduce expenses every way you are able to. For several years I worked a second, 25 hour a week job to ensure my wife could be at home with our children, devoted to our home.
I know many of you may be thinking, “Mark, does not live in the real world. This is just not possible for young families today.” Let me tell you an amazing, true story. In 1999 I started a church I called The Rock. I designed it to intentionally reach 20-something singles and college students, with the intent to win them to Christ, and then disciple them in God’s way of living—especially God’s design for the family. I started this church in Uptown Minneapolis, MN. That’s right — in that godless, wicked, “ultra-woke,” corrupt, Democrat city a few miles from where the George Floyd riots happened. Many young people came to Christ. Hundreds were baptized. Week after week I modeled, and boldly taught them God’s biblical way to live. I inspired them with biblical Christianity. Young people began to fall in love and to marry. I passionately taught them God’s wonderful plan and design for marriage, for children, and the biblical roles of husband and wife. I held nothing back. “I did not shrink from declaring to them the whole counsel of God.” I didn’t start a nice little church—I created a disciple factory. I set the bar very high. I called them to a life of radical commitment to Jesus Christ. I taught them about training and raising children. I taught them about homeschooling. I taught them about living on one income, with the wife being a full-time homemaker and mother. For 20 years, I led this church and loved and trained these young people. We had hundreds attending. We started with no children, and in time we had babies everywhere, almost 130 children. 95% of those families homeschooled their children and the wives were stay-at-home mothers. These families lived on one income. So believe me when I say — IT CAN BE DONE TODAY! Do you want it bad enough? Are you willing to make any change necessary to make it happen in your family?
Titus 2:4-5
So teach and train the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, devoted homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered. — “A good advertisement for the Christian faith.”
Would you like to hear some of the powerful things I taught them? Please, if you dare, listen to this series. The Truth About Men And Women! I expose the destructive lies of feminism, and explain the truth and how it works in real life. Most will not have heard a series quite like it. Be sure to hear all 6 parts.
https://strongdisciple.com/
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
