NOTICE HER
It never ceases to amaze me how men so easily miss things that are really important to their marriage. Having dealt with thousands of men over the years, I speak from experience. Men can be incredibly dense when it comes to understanding how to encourage their wives. They can be extremely obtuse.
Recently my wife was at the nail salon, getting her nails done. This is one of the special things I treat my wife to every month. It means a lot to her, blesses her as a woman, and brings me joy to give it to her. As she sat down to begin, she told the manicurist, “I’d like to have my nail color in turquoise again, my husband told me he loves that color on me, and so do I.” The manicurist exclaimed to my wife, “That’s amazing to me that your husband notices what color your nails are. What a great guy. My husband doesn’t notice anything I do. I can put on a new dress, and he’s oblivious, he never notices, comments or cares about these things.” How sad! How discouraging for that wife!
If I’ve heard this kind of thing once, I’ve heard it a hundred times over the years. Husbands are often so unobservant and dull. The fact that they so often fail to notice the little things their wives do, or ways they fix their hair, or dress, or do something special around the house, is really hurtful to a wife. It reveals a lack of genuine concern, an inattentiveness to the woman you say you love. Did you realize it’s actually disobedience to God to be this way? Did you know Romans 12:10-11 (Berkeley) tells us—Try to outdo one another in showing respect, never slacking in interest? Do you see that? Never slacking in noticing, in demonstrating you’re genuinely interested in the person you married. This is one of the primary ways you show respect and honor to your wife! You notice her, you notice the things she does, the things she wears, the way she feels.
Men, we really need to wake up. We need to start tuning in to what’s going on with our wives, taking special notice of the little things. You’ll be amazed how this will impact your wife and encourage her spirit.
It’s not hard to do, men. Did you know the Bible commands us to “Be alert”? Let me challenge you to make a concerted effort in this area of your life towards your wife. Open your eyes! Be observant! Get genuinely interested in her world. Take notice of the special things she is wearing, or how she looks, the things she does, or special decorations she puts around the house. This will make your wife feel important, appreciated, valued, and loved by you.
The other day, my wife made a special Christmas decoration in the lantern on our dining table. When I woke up the next morning and turned on the light, I noticed the beautiful, creative thing she’d designed and crafted. I went out to my computer, and wrote her a short, special note, letting her know she did a great job on it, and I thought it was beautiful. It meant the world to her. But truthfully, the thing she did was something many men would simply never notice. You see, the lantern always sits on our table, but my wife had put some new, unique Christmas decorations inside of it, that only an observant man would notice. Be that man, men! God is not obtuse! God is not dull and unobservant. God takes notice of everything in our lives. God is intensely interested in our life, in how we feel, in all we do.
God is always paying attention to you and all that concerns you! If you doubt that, read Psalm 139 NLT! Notice the great comfort and encouragement it brings to the writer of this Psalm to know God is this way with him. In every way you can, imitate God towards your spouse.
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
