STRONG LEADERSHIP MATTERS!
Joshua 1:9 AMP
Have I not commanded you, “Be strong and courageous {resolute}. Do not be terrified or be dismayed {intimidated}. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!”
All of us are watching aghast at the events unfolding before our eyes in Afghanistan. We are witnessing the catastrophic impact of weak, cowardly, feckless leadership on the part of our president and his administration. It is inexcusable, unconscionable, despicable, and is having horrific consequences on real people’s lives.
I have witnessed this same weak, cowardly leadership in many churches and in many families. Men who cower before their congregations, unwilling to speak out courageously on moral issues of our time or confront needs in the church, afraid that people might leave and take their money with them, or get mad at them, or not like them anymore. I’ve watched Christian leaders cower before the #metoo mob, BLM intimidation, the LGBT agenda, and feminism. Why? Because they were afraid of their congregations, afraid of not being liked, afraid of the persecution and ridicule that would appear on social media. Their “brand”, their image on Facebook, was more important than uncompromising, strong, courageous, righteous leadership.
I have seen many fathers and husbands who were intimidated by their children and their wives. Afraid to stand up, be courageous, lead and address, with wisdom, what needed to be addressed. Men who simply stuck their head in the sand, and turned a blind eye to an issue that needed their attention, that needed their strong, courageous leadership.
Many times, I stood before my congregation of hundreds and at other times thousands, and courageously, strongly said what needed to be said. Always with much prayer, always with a genuine love for my congregation, always striving to do so with great wisdom, but always boldly, forthrightly, courageously in an attempt to save their lives and honor God.
I remember one such time. I had many young single people coming to my church. God was really moving in amazing ways. Young men and women from all backgrounds were coming, many from very dysfunctional pasts. I received some very reliable information regarding some young men who were attending in the hopes of finding many young women to date. They saw my church service as a target-rich environment. I of course knew that I was trying to bring the gospel to lost, broken men and women. Many had very difficult and immoral pasts. I wanted to show them the love of Christ but also needed to provide a safe place for young people to feel secure and cared for. I did not want young ladies afraid that if they came to our Saturday night service they would be bothered or repeatedly harassed by men following them around asking them out.
One Saturday night, I took a portion of my message and addressed this head-on. I first explained why I created this service. I explained that it was important that our young ladies feel safe and protected here. Then I boldly stated that it came to my attention that some young men are bothering some of our young ladies after the service, repeatedly asking them out on a date, even after they had declined. I then boldly told them to stop it, and to look around the auditorium and see they have a lot of big brothers here who you will have to reckon with, including me if you don’t leave them alone. Believe me, they got the point! Many men and women came up to me that night and thanked me for my boldness and courage. I was determined to call these young men to a higher standard.
In 2017 I strongly and courageously delivered a message to a very large group of pastors and wives I served for decades. The message was entitled, Winning The Next Generation, it was all about fathers, mothers, and raising our children, and the price we must pay to do it well. Many people came up to me and thanked me in tears for being so bold, so strong and so clear. However, a few days later, one of the pastors I led in the churches with, called me to reprove me for being so bold, and to tell me there were some things I should not have said. I told him forthrightly, I stood by what I preached, that my message was a warning, an urgent call to action and that I felt he was trying to pull the rug right out from under me, regarding things that we had all believed and practiced in our early years. Within a year, that is exactly what he did to me, he pulled the rug right out from under me. I have no regrets, as I knew I was speaking the message God wanted us to hear. Saving lives and honoring God is what it has always been all about.
As a father, I knew it was essential that my children knew and saw me as a strong and courageous man. They needed strong guidelines, they needed me to be willing to courageously address issues related to them. They needed me to intervene, to give clear direction and correction. So many men are intimidated by their children and their wives. We need to be men who love strong enough that their best interest is always our highest concern. That because of our strong love, we give them the strong, courageous and clear leadership that they desperately need. Always respectful of their dignity.
Men, do not be disheartened if your leadership is not always readily followed or responded to. Don’t lose your nerve. Don’t lose your patience. Don’t resort to being a bully. I have known many wives who were unwilling to submit to their husbands’ leadership. Some in fact strongly resisted for years. I have known wives who would not acknowledge the issue the husband was bringing to their attention. This will take great patience to allow God time to work on a blind, or obstinate heart, or on an issue that has been there for many years.
Keep loving her strong and with great patience. Keep your love and affection for her strong. Show her in your daily actions “I love you, I continue to care for you”, continue to lovingly serve her, and pray, pray, and pray some more for her. God will help you.
Always remember, The Lord your God is with you! He lives in you, He will enable and empower you, He will help you in your weakness, He will help you in your fears, He will guide you, He will sustain you, He will give you strength where you have none, He will walk with you through all of the challenges you face. He will give you His wisdom if you earnestly ask for it.
In closing, please let me know any way I can ever help you. I have helped men walk through some extremely difficult parenting or marital situations. They did not know what to do. They reached out, we visited, and I was able to offer them counsel and advice on how to move forward. Just last week I received two email messages describing to me the wonderful change they each saw in their situations by applying the advice and counsel I had given them. I pray for those of you who reach out to me every single day. God answered prayers in these situations in a fantastic way.
Strong Leadership Matters!
For those of you curious about the message I referred to, here is it.
https://strongdisciple.com/
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
