DAD, CALL A FAMILY MEETING!
(give them your instructions and vision)
Proverbs 3:17 LB
An unreliable messenger can cause a lot of trouble.
Reliable communication permits progress!
Proverbs 29:18 CEB
Where there is no vision, the people (kids) get out of control, but whoever obeys instruction is happy!
Many Dads may not know these two verses are in the Bible. But the ramifications of them are incredibly important to your fathering, your family, and raising your children.
Let me explain in a very simple and easy to grasp way. Most of you reading this watch football every Saturday or Sunday afternoon during the season. The entire game revolves around this: All week long the coach has meetings with his players, he shares his vision, and his strategy with his team. He gives them a plan for each and every play. He helps each player know his part in carrying out each play, then they practice those plays all week. The coach knows that team meetings are essential for his players, for it is there the coach can encourage, inspire and instruct his team. The team that follows and keeps his instructions most often has great morale and they win many games!
Most Dads never think to call a family meeting to explain their expectations to their children or impart vision and encouragement to them. It just never really crossed their minds. I believe you men will find you are greatly helped if you regularly have a family meeting with all the kids in the living room, and strive to address needs you perceive in their behavior or attitudes you may see creeping into the home and address them. A large part of being an effective father is being a good, wise coach! When you see attitudes creeping into the kid’s spirit, that are being disruptive to the home environment, and to moms ability to teach them at home, and lead them without her coming unraveled, it is vitally important for you dad, to step up, call a family meeting and address the challenges head-on.
You may also need to have some one-on-one meetings with a particular child, to lovingly, but clearly communicate with them about things you see in their behavior or attitudes. Your child may need some extra encouragement from you, or some personal coaching and envisioning in an area of their life that needs improvement or special attention.
These things were critically important to my fathering and raising my kids. I saw myself as the head coach of our team, and they needed clear vision, gameplans, and instructions from me in order to succeed. So, plan some family meetings, give some one-on-one coaching and help your team win.
Tips
1. Make sure the kids have eaten before your team meeting!
2. Think through what you are going to say, and why, before you have the meeting.
3. Be as clear and direct as you can, but do not be intentionally harsh, or shame your kids.
4. If the situation is urgent, then let them hear the sense of urgency in your voice.
5. Don’t drone on for way too long. You will lose any of the good that might have been done.
6. Never be afraid to prick their conscience when needed to help them see the need for behavioral changes.
7. Make sure your expectations are very clear, easy to understand, and also reasonable. Help them know WHY!
8. Turn off the TV and all smartphones during your meetings!
9. Always let them know how much you love them, and repeat it often! Praise them for the good you see in them!
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
