THE TRUE COST OF BEING A PARENT
I have had the privilege of pastoring hundreds of young families over the years. I’ve officiated hundreds of babies being dedicated to the Lord. I’ve seen first hand the ecstatic joy of first time parents holding a new baby in their arms. I’ve experienced it all myself as a father, as well as holding many grandchildren in my arms shortly after they were born. It is all a priceless experience. There is nothing quite like it in all the world.
At the same time, let me tell you, being a parent will cost you more than you can imagine. You see, you and I never stop being parents. It’s not—raise them till they leave home and you’re done. Oh no. You’re their dad and mom till they die. There will be many anxious, sleepless nights. Not just when they’re newborn babies, but all the way through their lives, as trials, hardships, injustices, and the difficulties of life will invade your children’s world in ways you don’t imagine or presently understand.
There will be tremendous sacrifices you will need to make as you raise them in your home, but also after they leave home, marry, and have children of their own. For you see, the godly Christian parent simply cannot stop caring. The godly Christian parent cannot close their heart to the children they bore and raised—the children God gave them. The godly Christian parent cannot turn off their compassion or their love.
The godly Christian parents’ journey will be very much like that of God the Father’s journey with His children. Take a look around you at all that God the Father goes through and walks through with His own Christian children. There are the broken ones, the defiant ones, the rebellious ones, the wayward ones, the afflicted ones, the persecuted ones, the mistreated ones, the sick ones, the forsaken ones, the abandoned ones, the suffering ones, the ungrateful ones, the desperate ones, the destitute ones, the shattered ones, the disrespectful ones, the foolish ones, the confused ones, the weak ones, the struggling ones, the prodigal ones, the discouraged ones, the poor ones, the circumstantially overwhelmed ones, and the financially distressed ones.
To be a godly Christian parent is to know both great joy and blessing, but also great sorrow, pain, and heartache. To be a godly Christian parent is to know first hand the great and costly price of love. To know what it means, experientially, to lay down your life for another, over and over again. To give up your life and your rights as Jesus Christ gave up His life and His rights for us. To sacrifice, to spend and be spent, though it costs you dearly, because you truly love your children.
I have watched over the years as some parents eventually shut their hearts off towards their children. They made a decision–we raised you and gave you your start in life, now you’re on your own. We have a right to spend the rest of our lives unburdened by our children.
For the godly Christian parent, their attitude is that of the Apostle Paul, who stated, “I will gladly spend and be spent for your sake.” The godly Christian parent seeks to imitate God the Father’s love, commitment, and sacrifice for his children, young and old alike. God the Father never stops giving. God the Father never stops his compassion. God the Father never stops caring.
There may be children who turn their back on you. Who choose to distance themselves from you. Who decide not to have a relationship with you. This also happens to God the Father. There is nothing you can do about this, as it was their decision. But you can pray. You can ask God to work in their heart. You can show small acts of kindness, through a birthday card, or gift, or small gestures once in a while, knowing you may not get much of anything in return. You do it all for the sake of genuine love. There may be a child whose actions will require a tough-love approach, whose choices or actions are truly wrong, causing a strong disagreement and a fracture in your relationship. This also happens with God and some of his children. It is always very painful under these circumstances. Like the father of the prodigal son, you must wait for their repentant return. You can take comfort in the knowledge that God himself endures similar treatment from some of His own children.
Yes, parents are human. Parents grow weary, worn, exhausted, discouraged, and at times want to give up. Parents can wonder, “Is it really worth it all?”
The godly Christian parent keeps in the forefront of their minds the great cost God pays every day loving his children. They remind themselves that we live for a higher purpose, we live for the eternal praise of God. The value system of a godly Christian parent is vastly different from the people of this world or from the value system of the compromising, lukewarm, uncommitted Christian.
You will be forever, eternally rewarded and honored by God for paying the true cost of being a godly Christian parent.
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
