PRACTICAL WAYS TO LOVE YOUR WIFE
1 John 3:18 Amplified
Little children, let us not love [merely in theory] with word or with tongue [giving lip service to compassion], but in action and in truth [in practice and in sincerity, because practical acts of love are more than words!]
ERV version: No, our love must be real. We must show our love by the things we do.
This Divine Truth has had a powerful, shaping influence on my life and marriage. It has become a primary tenet of my Christian faith. Love must be more than words. Love must show itself in practical, tangible ways, by the things I do. This is especially true in my marriage.
When I became a young husband, I certainly viewed our marriage and our roles and responsibilities in a traditional, Biblical sense. But, as time went on, as I thought about this Divine Truth, and the example of Jesus as our servant, I realized that God himself stepped outside the normal role we associate with God. He demonstrated His love to others in very practical ways, serving their needs.
This greatly inspired and motivated me over the years to think of practical ways I can show my wife I love her. I thought I would pass on some of those ways to you men. Some of these you may be doing already.
By way of some background and context, we had 4 children. My wife home educated them, and my wife has had significant health and pain issues all these years. I was very busy pastoring, planting churches, and ministering on a local, national, and international level for many of these years, working more than full time. We have now been empty nesters for approximately 15 years, and my wife’s health remains a great challenge.
Also understand, as my wife was home educating 4 children and all that involved, she was also teaching and training our kids, planning and preparing our homemade meals, driving the kids to karate, often 4 times a week, and helping them with their weekly paper route. From 2003-2010 my wife was extremely busy caring for our very sick daughter, more than full time. In the years since, she often helps out with grandchildren, or, for example, when my daughter, as a mother herself, had emergency surgery on her neck and could not use her arm for a long time, Kathy would go there frequently to help around the house and with their child. Kathy sacrificially serves in many significant ways.
Here are some of the things I do to show my wife my love in practical, tangible ways.
I work to provide our finances for all the things we need. I plan the budget, pay the bills, file and pay our taxes, and keep on top of all our financial matters. I keep our license tabs renewed for our van, and up-to-date insurance cards in the vehicle.
I make sure we have the vehicle we need and keep it in good, safe, running repair.
I make sure it is always full of gas for my wife. I never let it get below half a tank.
I regularly clean off the brake lights and headlights, and keep the windows clean so my wife has a safe driving experience. I make sure she never runs out of washer fluid for the windshield, and the wipers clean effectively. I keep it cleaned inside for her as well. I wash and dry it when needed.
I go get the groceries for us.
I keep the house vacuumed, and clean the bathrooms.
I keep the floors swept, and the trash emptied. I put out the garbage every week to be picked up.
I do the laundry, and fold the clothes. Kathy and our children did them for years when they lived at home. But in these last 22 years, during the time of our daughter’s illness, and now that we are empty nesters and Kathy’s health is more difficult, I do it.
Because sleep is so vital to my wife’s health, and because of my recurring cough and sinus issues which disrupts her sleep, I sleep in a different room so she can get the best night’s sleep possible for her. This has been extremely helpful.
These days, most of the time I fix my own meals, as it is a way to help my wife.
I keep the lawn mowed, and junk picked up outside.
I shovel all the snow from our driveway whenever it snows.
I keep the furnace filters changed, the AC unit cleaned, and insure appliances are all in good working order and maintained well.
I keep our Berkey water filter tank full and ready to use.
I pray with my wife every day.
I make sure she has what she needs with the health challenges she faces.
Once a week, or more if she asks, I give her a very thorough, therapeutic neck massage, as her neck is a source of much pain and discomfort from a severe car accident.
I strive to do all of these things, and any others, with a good attitude and a cheerful, willing spirit. This blesses and encourages my wife when she sees they are not done begrudgingly.
I hope these examples stimulate your thinking, and provoke you to greater love and good deeds.
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
