KNOW THEM WELL
Proverbs 27:23
Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds. NLT
Be sure you know the condition of your flocks; give careful attention to your herds. NIV
Recently, I watched a fascinating show about sheep ranching and raising sheep. I was amazed how uniformed I really was about all that goes into raising these animals. Some of these ranchers were raising hundreds and some thousands of sheep. I discovered there was a whole lot more to raising sheep than just putting them in a field of green grass and letting them eat a lot, then shipping them off to market. There was checking each sheep over carefully to make sure maggots had not infested their wool. A very demanding, tedious process. There was the labor intensive process of sheep dipping to kill bugs and parasites on every sheep. There was examining each animal’s hoofs to make sure there was no foot rot, and trimming their hooves on a regular basis. There was the backbreaking work of shearing each animal at the proper time. There was the labor intensive project of bringing out a vet to ultrasound and inspect every single ewe to see if she was pregnant. Then there was the unbelievable intensity of lambing season, many sleepless nights, helping the ewe’s deliver their lambs, making sure you get the lamb breathing, and up with its mother. I was stunned how labor intensive raising sheep actually is. It certainly gave me a new, insightful understanding of “knowing well the condition of your flock!” These ranchers really put their whole heart into caring for their sheep. They cared deeply about every single sheep they owned. They knew well the condition of their flocks. I was amazed how attuned they were to each individual animal in their care.
As I watched this show, I thought to myself, Wouldn’t it be wonderful if dads were this attentive to their little “flock of children?” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they put their heart and soul into caring for them, really knowing, and understanding the condition of each child in their care? Wouldn’t it be a marvelous thing if every father stayed this connected and attuned to their child’s heart, needs and pressing issues?
I’ll never forget the terrible killings at Columbine High School in Colorado, in 1999, just months after I started The Rock. It was the savage, brutal slaughter of students by two other students who attended the school. Apart from the shock of this horrific crime, I was astounded to hear the parents of these two teens who’d committed this crime say they had no idea what their sons were up to. How do you miss them buying and storing tons of ammunition? How do you miss their degrading attitudes, or their state of emotional despair? How do you miss the kinds of video games or music they’re listening to? How do you miss the supposed bullying that was happening to them at their school, that created such hurt and alienation in their spirits? So many questions, but you get the point.
Do you know your children? Are you staying connected to them? Are you attentive to their needs, the state of their emotional world at every age, and season of life? Are you reading the signs, perceptive to their emotional cues? Do you listen attentively to them? Do you know where they’re spending their time? Do you know who and what they are texting on their phone? Do you know where they’re going online? Do you know what’s going on in their inner world, and the personal struggles they may be dealing with? Can you tell when something is on their minds or they’re not acting themselves? If you don’t know these things—Why not?! Can children lie to us, deceive us and keep things hidden? Sure they can, but we must make that as hard as we possibly can. We must have the courage to probe, to ask hard questions, to interject ourselves into their world, to be nosy and genuinely inquisitive, caring and alert. Just think about things you hid from your parents in your teenage years! Do you want them to do the same thing?
Dads, hear me now. You have got to get engaged with your children! You have to know their world, enter their world, care about their world, and find out where each child in your flock is at, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I am not saying it won’t take a lot of work. It will. It will take sacrificial time and effort to find these things out, to engage with them, befriend them, listen to them, read them, and guide them with your loving hand. But it is essential. It is vital. If not, our lambs will stray. They may become prey to the wolves of this world. They may even be devoured and destroyed.
Fathers, this is why it is essential we are men of devoted prayer, crying out to God for his wisdom, every single day, praying over their lives. This is why we must be so God-dependent, keeping our own hearts in tune with God. Earnestly walking in His ways, so that our own hearts and minds are as sharp and insightful as they can possibly be to the needs around us. This is not a game. This cannot be attempted with a lazy, lackadaisical, half-hearted effort. Being this kind of father demands our utmost for their highest good!
Men, I realize many of you are working very hard at your jobs, you have an awful lot on your plate. Many of you are serving a lot in your churches, or volunteering in other ways. Others of you are dealing with some very difficult life situations, with very little margin in your emotional bandwidth. Please let me offer a bit of loving advice.
Your time with your children is very short. It will be over before you know it. Some of you need to step back from your serving commitments at your church, or stop altogether other volunteering roles outside the home. Your family needs you now. Some of you need to be more intentional about the time you do have in the evenings and weekends, to make sure you’re getting the time with your children that is really needed. We need to do everything we can to foster loving, trusting, open relationship environments in our homes, and in our relationships with our children. We want our children to know they can trust us, to be open and honest about what they may be struggling with. That we care, will listen, and genuinely help them. That we won’t reject them.
For those of you going through extremely difficult trials and emotionally draining circumstances, just be aware, I realize we can’t make those circumstances or their intensity disappear with the wave of our hand. Ask God for extra grace, and insight. Ask God to help you make the maximum progress with the limited strength you have. Make small steps to engage with your children. Communicate with those old enough to understand, letting them know a bit of what is going on in your life, and assure them you are doing the best you can. This will help your child understand you much better, and some of the realities you’re dealing with.
This message series, How To Stay Close To Your Kids, will give you wisdom and insights into staying connected, engaged and trusted by your children. The principles in these messages will help you create an environment in your home that fosters trust and openness between your children and you as the parent. Please, please take time to listen to them.
https://strongdisciple.com/
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
