CHARACTER MATTERS MOST
We live in a culture obsessed with fame, talent, appearance, intellect and success. We see example after example of famous musicians, athletes, actors, politicians and others who have achieved fame and recognition, who are morally reprehensible people, consumed with self. With the advent of social media, young people are addicted to being noticed. How they appear to others on their facebook page matters a great deal to them. Many young people live much of their lives, so to speak, on social media, consumed by others’ perceptions of them, comparing their lives to the lives of others. They’re extremely self centered, obsessing over their brand. This is extremely destructive to their mental and emotional well being, and sabotages their personal character development.
Wise parents will take their cues from God. They’ll understand one of God’s primary purposes in His children’s lives is to build their character. To shape us into godly people, who possess godly character, and genuine maturity. This is what makes us useful and effective for God. Without godly character, we’re useless to God and His kingdom work on earth.
We see the Apostle Paul encouraging young Timothy to pursue a godly life, to train himself to be godly. He commands Timothy not to let anyone think less of him because he is young. In other words, don’t give anyone an excuse to disregard you, rather, be an example to them in the way you live, the way you love others, in your faith, and the purity of your conduct. That will grab peoples attention, that will elicit their respect. If these were the things God directed for young Timothy, we would do wisely to apply them to our own children as divine directives for their lives also.
Character is what we are as a person in our day to day lives. It’s what we are at home when our friends don’t see us. It’s what kids are like when they’re not on social media. It’s what our children are like towards each other. What they’re like towards their mom and dad. Are they respectful? Are they eager to serve? Are they kind and wise with their words? Are they honest and truthful? Are they compassionate towards others? Are they merciful? Are they just and fair? Are they grateful? Do they exercise self control? Do they persist and persevere through difficulties? Do they work hard? Are they trustworthy and reliable? Are they courageous? Are they loving to their siblings and parents? Are they self disciplined? Are they wise or foolish? Are they humble and teachable? Do they have good attitudes? Are they considerate of others? Do they possess sound judgement and discernment? And of course, our real character will always come out in our public spheres of influence.
I also strongly believe athletics, music, academics and work can be powerful tools for building our children’s character. As parents, we used all of these as vital tools for training and developing our children’s character. We urged them to excel in each endeavor. First, to honor and glorify God, making Christ and our message attractive to the world. Sloppy work, half-hearted efforts, and lack of preparation do not honor God, nor do they build excellent character, and they are a terrible witness. Second, we trained them to use their God given talents and abilities to serve God by serving others. For decades they used their musical skills and abilities to serve other people and honor Jesus Christ. Godly character makes the best servants for God and for serving other people.
Here is a poem my grandson wrote for his parents years ago, when he was 9. He shared a copy with me, and I’ve kept it all these years. It illustrates the attitude desired in a child. He is certainly growing into a young man with godly character.
Here To Serve
I am here to serve and not to complain,
I am here to serve and not to play,
I am here to serve you as long as you need me to.
For I am your son, and I am willing to serve you.
I encourage you parents, take the time to make your own list of character qualities you desire to instill and develop in your children. Include a small definition beside each one in your own words, along with a scripture reference. It will be an invaluable exercise for you as a parent.
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
