RESEARCH PARENTS NEED TO KNOW
Proverbs 23:23 LB
Get the facts at any price, and hold on tightly to all the good sense you can get!
Do you have a passionate commitment to getting the facts on the things that truly matter? Do you have a habit of finding out the facts, gaining knowledge, understanding and good sense, then using every bit of that information to live a wise, effective, successful life? If not, God calls that very foolish.
Proverbs tells us repeatedly to get knowledge, get wisdom, to get insight, to get the facts no matter what it costs.
With that in mind, I want to pass on some parenting facts discovered through the extensive research done by George Barna for his 2007 book entitled, Revolutionary Parenting. Interestingly, this book came out 8 years after I did my own parenting series, Getting Your Family To Mars: A Practical Guide to Revolutionary Christian Parenting. I mention that, not because Barna ever heard my series, or that it influenced him in any way. I mention it so you would know that years before he ever wrote his book or made these findings, I was practicing and teaching these very principles he would later discover through his research for his book!
These facts, these significant findings are critically important for each of you parents to know and understand. So please read them with great care. If you have the time, I believe you would find his book very stimulating and helpful in your parenting endeavor. I highly recommend the book.
Revolutionary Parenting: George Barna’s book titled Revolutionary Parenting highlights several characteristics common to families with children who (1) Embrace Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord (2) Accept the Bible as a true guide for life (3) Seek to live in obedience to Biblical principles and grow deeper with God. These types of children he refers to as “spiritual champions”. Some of Barna’s most significant conclusions from the study show…
Churches alone have little influence on children, so their greatest opportunity to affect children is impacting parents.
Less than 20% of parents believe themselves to be doing a good job training their children morally and spiritually.
Most parents are all too happy to pass off their kids to “paid professionals” including teachers and pastors.
Those who raise “spiritual champions” were more likely to…
1. Be single-income households. Meaning mom was in the home, a homemaker!
2. Schedule more time with their children each day.
3. Intentionally decide their children will be their main earthly focus in life during the parenting years.
Those who raised “spiritual champions” spent 600% more time in daily dialogue with their children than the 15 minutes typical for American families. {Pastor Mark comment: This is one of the great advantages of homeschooling, it allows for this kind of mega interaction with your kids.}
Highlighting the importance of intentionality, 80% of Revolutionary Parents described themselves as “heavily involved” in every aspect of their child’s life. 73% stated they developed and pursued specific parental goals vs. 5% of all parents. {Pastor Mark comment: Pay special attention to that stat, 73%! This is what Getting Your Family to Mars is all about. Developing your own specific God given goals, plans and strategy for raising your kids! It is essential!}
In a quarter century of doing research I have rarely encountered instances where 100 percent of the group being studied agreed on something. Yet every single Revolutionary Parent we interviewed agreed the most important focus of their children’s training was the development of godly character! 100% agreed that “developing godly character” was the most important focus of their child’s training vs. “honing skills and grasping information.”
Most parents make parenting decisions based upon how they perceive friends and extended family will perceive their actions – a viewpoint in conflict with the mind-set of parents who raise “spiritual champions.”
Stability at home proved a key factor in raising “spiritual champions” – including consistent rules, moral expectations, and a stable marriage.
Revolutionary Parents see themselves as the primary spiritual developers of their kids with the church reinforcing what happens at home. They tend to critique children’s and youth ministry content and conduct beyond the typical “tell me the time and place” details.
While the Bible proved central in these homes, few engaged in daily family Bible study. They were more likely to do so once or twice a week (excluding church) in either a formal or informal manner.
Revolutionary Parents tend to recognize the priority of serving others and seek ways of inculcating that in their children’s lives.
Revolutionary Parents believe their greatest source of hope and power is God, and prayer is the channel that delivers it. Prayer was central to their parenting and most of them prayed for their children daily in specific ways for that child.
The “spiritual champions” who are now adults intimated in our research that the limitations defined by their parents were a godsend! In fact, the unwillingness of parents to closely monitor and limit media was listed by spiritual champions as a glaring fault of many parents. Giving children freedom to determine their own media diet was ranked as one of the most insidious weaknesses of today’s parents, producing outcomes that will haunt their children – and our society – for years to come!
Revolutionary parents make no bones about it: If a child expects to live in their house, the child not only has to abide by their rules, but also embrace their values. Rules that are not based on a comprehensive, underlying value system become a modern form of legalism. But rules that stem from values based on a biblical worldview give meaning and purpose to behavior.
I hope and trust that these findings and observations were stimulating to your thinking, and encourage you to excel even more in raising your children for Christ.
* Note: I began my parenting journey 27 years before Barna ever wrote his book. I was practicing and teaching these concepts years before he wrote them. Barna’s research revealed in his book, confirms everything I’ve taught on parenting. My parenting and teachings have always been based on the wisdom of God’s word, so this is not surprising to me. I just always find a special joy when people do extensive research only to find God’s word works in real life!
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling
