GET BACK THOSE LOVIN’ FEELINGS
Who can forget the Righteous Brothers song, You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ ! None of us, no matter who we are, or how long we’ve been married can escape our human nature. Everything about us tends to diminish and weaken over time. We are not like God, who never fades, weakens or diminishes one iota with the passing of time. God is changeless! We change in some way every single day. Unless we find a way to keep our love for our spouse from fading, and growing cold, it will diminish all on its own. We must renew and reinvigorate our lovin’ feelings for our spouse or those good, lovin’ feelings will eventually fade away, and slowly disappear.
Humans are easily bored, we lose interest and become easily distracted. Human nature is always looking for a new thrill, a new gadget, a new something or other. We have great difficulty keeping our enthusiasm for the same things over a long period of time. On top of that, all marriages have their unique challenges, and frustrations, which easily corrode our good feelings towards each other, becoming another obstacle to overcome.
I realize feelings come and go. I realize our love must be anchored to something far greater than just feelings, yet I also know how vitally important good feelings are to the soul and vibrancy of a meaningful marriage.
Having been married now for 44 years, I thought I’d pass on some of the things that have helped me keep my lovin’ feelings alive and strong for my wife! She would attest, and it is true, I’m still crazy for that girl!
Never forget this. Your mind and thoughts are the secret to stirring up your feelings and emotions. What you choose to think about, and feed your mind on regarding your spouse is a gamechanger!
I recall and visualize often how we met, the divine way God brought her into my life, and the thrill of that supernatural time in our lives! I don’t let myself forget the supernatural answer to my prayers that Kathy was and remains!
I treasure her and who she is in my heart and mind. Over time, I just keep adding more and more reasons to treasure her. Her value in my mind has increased over time, rather than diminished. This article I wrote several years ago illustrates this point clearly. Re-read it. Then write your own! https://strongdisciple.com/
I humbly call to mind how often she has loved me in my ugliness, overlooked my stupidity, forgiven my mistakes, shown me extreme grace and kindness, accepted my idiosyncrasies and stayed loyal and devoted to me no matter how difficult the journey of our lives has been. Man, O man I love this woman!
I strive to serve and go out of my way for my wife on a daily basis. I’ve discovered the more I do these kinds of thoughtful and considerate things for her, the more it engages my heart and emotions and helps produce good feelings toward her.
I keep and maintain a thankful, grateful attitude towards her. I sincerely thank God for her every day, if I don’t do this, I can begin just like anyone else to harbor grumblings, complaints and criticisms. Constant fault finding will destroy every lovin’ feeling you’ve got!
I pray over my marriage and my heart on a daily basis. I know that apart from Christ I can do nothing of lasting value.
I replay vivid, wonderful memories in my mind about this woman. Those vivid memories stir up wonderful, lovin’ feelings. They are fuel to my burning ring of fire!
I deeply appreciate Kathy, and all she’s done and does for me. I do not take her for granted. I picture what my life would be like without her, and it gives me a wonderful perspective.
I refuse to let my love for her grow cold. I discipline my mind and thoughtlife. I work my mind with great diligence. Humans tend to have very undisciplined minds. Undisciplined minds will never produce consistent, lovin’ feelings.
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling