MARRIAGE MADE SIMPLE
I know you may be thinking, “Pastor Mark has just made an impossible statement. There is no way to make marriage simple.”
Well, just be patient, continue reading, and you shall be enlightened. I will show you what happens when we Look To The Book!
Are you ready? Marriage made simple = Just Do What God Commands. Play by God’s rules, play by God’s roles!
Now read these from God’s Book!
Psalm 119:56,59-60 NLT
This is my happy way of life: obeying your commandments!
I pondered the direction of my life (marriage), and I turned to follow your statutes. I will hurry without lingering to obey your commands.
Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.
Do you really believe those verses? With soul searching honesty, do you actually believe that your true happiness is found in obeying God’s commands?
Are you even willing to embrace the truth that God has wisely given us commands that we must obey in life and in marriage?
Many years ago in school, I played basketball and football. You may laugh as I am rather undersized at 5’8″ tall, and 140 pounds. But I was very fast, agile, quick and gutsy. I admit basketball frustrated me a lot. Most of the guys were bigger and not always easy to get around. They always had a height advantage. One day as I was playing a pick up game of basketball, I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be cool to combine football with basketball. In other words when a guy tried a jump shot, I would just grab him and pull him back down to the ground!” Very logical, very reasonable, it would certainly take away their height advantage, but it’s against the rules. The man who invented basketball didn’t design it that way. Then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I just grabbed a rebound, and instead of dribbling to the other end of the court, I just carried the ball and ran like in football and went to the other end and shot a lay up!” Again, very logical, much easier for me to do, but again, it’s against the rules. Now grasp this! We pay to watch sports teams play the game by the rules!! If they break the rules over and over again, the game is no fun anymore and nobody watches or wants to play it! And people get hurt real bad breaking the rules! In addition, when you break the rules over and over again, you lose the game!
This is exactly what God’s commands were given to us for. Our happy way of life is found in obeying God’s commands, in obeying God’s marriage commands. They are to be the rules we live and operate by. God’s commandments and rules make marriage work, and they work very well!
That means this: Wives, submit to your husband. Respect your husband, don’t degrade your husband. Honor your husband in your speech, with your words and in your heart. Do not tear him down with your mouth! Admire your husband. Do what your husband asks you to do. Follow where your husband is leading you. Don’t be contentious, argumentative, obstinate and stubborn. Submit to your husband as you submit to Christ. Whether you think he deserves it or not!!! These are not nice suggestions, these are God’s commandments to you to do! They are for your good!
That means this: Husbands, love your wife. Take your leadership seriously, and lead her in a godly way. Be kind and understanding of your wife, of her needs and weaknesses. Work to provide for your wife within the framework of true needs. Protect your wife, serve your wife. Treat her with dignity and love her like Christ loved the church. Speak kindly to her, do not tear her down with your words, build her up with your words. Don’t be harsh, inconsiderate and bullying. Cherish her in your heart. Whether you think she deserves it or not. These are not nice suggestions, they are God’s commandments to you to do! They are for your good!
Now, here is where the rubber meets the road. Whether or not you grew up in a dysfunctional family as a child, you are in God’s family now. God Your Father loves you, believes in you, is for you, is always faithful to you, has given His Son Jesus Christ to save you, you have His power within you through the Holy Spirit, and everything you need for life and godliness. We must all let go of our past, and embrace our new life with Christ. We have God’s Book full of God’s commands, instructions, wisdom, insights, precepts, guidelines, encouragement and promises. We need to read them, embrace them, and follow them. We need to Do What God Commands and What God Teaches.
Will you right now take the time to honestly reflect? If you are a wife, are you willingly, readily, cheerfully submitting to your husband on a consistent basis? Do you show him great respect? Do you honor him, defer to him, listen to him, and comply with things he asks you to do? Will you live within the financial means your husband is able to provide and be content? Are you building him up with your words? Do you talk negatively, or critically about him to others?
If you are a husband, do you cherish and treasure your wife in your heart? Do you consistently love her, lay your life down for her, treat her kindly, with genuine understanding and thoughtfulness? Are you leading her in a godly way? Are you building her up with your words? Are you working hard to provide food and shelter and the things needed to sustain her life? Are you sacrificial towards her?
My friends, here’s what we all need to understand. God designed marriage! God invented it, God created two complementary genders for it, and God knows how it operates the very best way! God then gave us His divine instructions and commands for married life. When you and I play by God’s rules and roles, when you obey His direct commands for marriage, you will experience the blessing God intended. God’s commands are made for your very best interests.
Here is a profound truth: The more practiced and proficient you become at obeying God’s marriage commands the better your marriage will be.
Even if your spouse does not comply with God, or drags their feet so to speak, God will honor you for honoring Him!!
The most important person in your marriage is God, and God is watching!! Jesus said, “If you love me you will obey my teachings.” This is a primary way you show Jesus you love him!
However, If we violate God’s commands, if we deviate from God’s rules and roles, we will suffer the consequences.
When you rebel against God’s marriage commandments, when you rebel against God’s marriage rules, roles and responsibilities, you will suffer. You will do great harm to your marriage, to yourself and eventually lose the game!
Never forget this! 1 John 5:3 NIV “In fact, this is love for God: to keep His commands. His commands are not burdensome.” The sinful flesh is burdensome. Laziness is burdensome. Being a fool is burdensome. Pride is burdensome. Ingratitude is burdensome. Discontentment is burdensome. Disobedience is burdensome. Violating God’s commands is burdensome!
Ps. 112:1 NLT
Praise the Lord! Happy are those who fear the Lord. Yes, happy are those who delight in doing what He commands.
Obeying God’s commands is where psychological, mental, emotional, spiritual, and marital happiness is found!
*Special note: I recognize that some of you reading this may be in a marriage situation where your spouse does not consistently obey God’s marriage commands, rules, roles, and responsibilities. Some, in fact, may be living in open rebellion against them. This makes your marriage quite difficult. Please, always remember this. Your own life will be blessed and you will find real joy, and satisfaction in obeying God’s marriage commands yourself, and God himself will honor you for it. God will have to deal with your spouse. Do not let your spouse’s actions keep you from obeying God’s commands yourself. Remember your happy way of life is found in obeying God’s commands.
Helping you become a Strong Disciple,
Because of Jesus,
Pastor Mark Darling